How to Decide, If You Should Get Involved in a Long Distance Relationship
This article is a translation of an old article I wrote on my Slovak blog Sám Sebe Pán.
I have rich experience with long distance relationships. During my 3-year long relationship with my last girlfriend, we were physically together only about half the time. Now, roughly half a year after the end of our relationship, I unexpectedly got into another long distance relationship. I am beginning to think that it’s my destiny – even though I don’t believe in destiny 🙂
How I got into a long distance relationship again
In Thailand, I accidentally met a girl from Melbourne, Australia. We spent one day together. Neither of us expected something to happen, because we had different plans and she was leaving the island Koh Samui, where I was living, the next day. But eventually we met again, when I went to visit her adjacent island Koh Phangan. A week later we met again, this time on Koh Tao island. Then she left for Melbourne and I went back to Koh Samui.
We spent only 6 days together, what’s really not much time before developing a long distance relationship. But those 6 days were so intensive and so awesome that neither of us wanted it to end. We wanted to get to know each other better. We wanted this because we hadn’t felt this way with anyone else. We know that it won’t be a long distance relationship forever and that Australia isn’t that far away from Thailand ( a 9 hour flight). We’re grateful for the Internet, Skype, Gmail Video Call (Google Hangouts) and other tools that allow us to keep in touch and laugh together. Even though the internet connection isn’t always ideal and our calls often crash, it is still more than emails or even letters.
I’m really grateful every day. Grateful that I met her. Grateful that I visited her in Koh Phangan even though I accomplished it only on the second attempt (the first time I travelled to the wrong bay :D) and also that we had a chance to get to know each other better. Grateful that I visited her a week later in Koh Tao even though it was far away and far from being cheap (now I’m kind of ashamed because I had hesitated to decide if I should go or not – but I’m grateful that I made a good decision eventually). I’m grateful that I can see her everyday, although it’s only via Skype and sometimes only for a short amount of time. I’m grateful for the 4-hour time zone difference between Thailand and Australia, which is still better than an 8 or 10-hour difference.
Let’s all be grateful for what we have even though it may not be much. We could always have less and many people do have less.
A long distance relationship isn’t exactly what every person wants or searches for. But when it happens, one has to think carefully to decide if it’s worth it. But how to know this?
How to decide, if you should get involved in a long distance relationship
You have to really want it. If you want to be together, nothing will stop you. Not a different skin color, not a different culture or thousands of kilometres. Do you think of the person as someone who you would like to spend the rest of your life with? If not, then don’t bother. Your long distance relationship won’t survive more than a couple of months. But if you see the person as someone amazing, and with whom you feel better than with anyone else, then you already have an answer. Everything is possible if both of you want it. I’ve always believed in that and I will always believe.
Lubo Jurik, Koh Samui, Thailand, 21. February 2014
Is what I’m doing, crazy? Has something similar happened to you? Are you still together?